Spring Cleaning "Rant"

With this week long chinook sitting over Calgary,spring is in the air and nothing says spring  like cleaning. Or in this case “cleansing”!

Oh Yeah, I know the story; just need a kick start to my diet as bikini season approaches. The gluttony over the winter months got the best of you and that colon needs a flush.What bullshit, starving the body with no protein and very little useable carbs and no fat is absolutely ridiculous.

For example the lemon, cayenne, maple syrup cleanse used for up to 10 days, puts the body into a shocked state of metabolic shutdown.

People were fed more in Auschwitz, yet intellectually smart people continue to by off on this crap.

Just incase you were wondering, while your doing the cleanse your breath will smell like a monkey’s ass; stock up on tic tacs please!

Maybe you feel that this wonder flush will free the body of toxic heavy metals, like mercury that are building up within you; sorry shitting like a goose will not remove heavy metals from the body.

As for the other unfriendlies that have enterd the colon, that is the job of our liver and kidneys to deal with waste management.

If you are not on liver dialysis quit “buying” into this quick fix donkee doo and eat more fibre rich foods and drink more water every day.

3 Responses to “ Spring Cleaning "Rant" ”

1. m says:

   January 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

   Brilliant!
2. Brad says:

   February 2, 2009 at 2:18 pm

   I loved Spring Cleaning “Rant”!
3. Brad says:

   February 2, 2009 at 6:17 pm

   Hey! Spring Cleaning “Rant” was very well written. Good job.